“In our relationship, love and trust are the limits. There are no negotiated boundaries, no safewords, and no agreed-upon limits. She trusts Me not to abuse that. We play hard, and I push hard, but that's not really what it's about. She has given Me all the authority in our relationship and trusts Me with her life.
I know people imagine that TPE is a horror show in which the slave is micro-managed, edge play happens all day, every day, and the slave has no life of her own apart from her Master. It's not like that. It's far from it for us.
My slave has a great job, we have vanilla friends, our kids are healthy, and we know each other's families. When we're out at a dungeon or play party, we're not the hardest players there, we're not working out trauma, and neither of us has mental issues. We're just very intentional about our relationship structure.
[Other people insist] there must be negotiations and safewords or else it's abuse. Abuse is abuse – no matter the structure. In TPE, there's a level of trust that abuse won't occur.
We… did have boundaries, limits, and safewords; we negotiated, checked in, and agreed about things we were doing before they were done. We always planned to have this structure and worked towards it. Once we were certain, we had a private ceremony and committed to it.
We didn't negotiate. Negotiation implies limits, and we agreed to give up limits. We gave up safewords, not because we haven't used one in a while, but because it's not up to her when I stop. She wanted to give up that control. We don't do formal check-ins or out-of-dynamic conversations because our dynamic is our relationship. Instead, we talk all the time. She is expected to share her wants and feelings without holding back.
Love and trust are the limits, and that’s also where safety lies. I know her intimately. I know what would cause her to want to end the relationship. I know what would break her trust in Me. I don't need it written down or even spoken out loud. She doesn't need Me to agree not to harm her. She knows that she is my most prized possession and that I want her to thrive.”
-- Mister Magnus42, TPE and Totality
Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/ThekinkPlace/comments/1afdzp0/tpe_and_totality/
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